Friday, June 29, 2007
They made many promises to drop it all if we took the postings down. At the request of the victims, we did so - yet NOTHING WAS DROPPED. One abused & used victim already suffering from PTSD is being dragged into court by Campbell & his attorney near the end of June 2007 anyway!
FRIDAY, JUNE 29, 2007 CAMPBELL IS DRAGGING ONE VICTIM TO COURT TO PROVE HE DID NOTHING SERIOUSLY WRONG AND SHE WAS AT FAULT TOO!! HIS ATTORNEY WANTS HER TO SIGN A STATEMENT FULL OF TWISTED FACTS AND SHE WON'T! - SUPPORT THIS VICTIM - YOU CAN WRITE HER VIA US AT CYBERPATHS@GMAIL.COM
Apparently Mr. Campbell has decided to use the legal system to further traumatize his victims by suing for telling their story saying that it caused him emotional & financial harm. CAMPBELL even got his poor, cheated-on wife to commit perjury and LIE for him! (This according to our legal research sources) Probably no more affairs and one-niters for this predator. BOO HOO
Campbell and his attorney wanted all the postings about him taken down:
1. EOPC doesn't control the whole internet and we are not responsible if other sites pick up on our postings and
2. EOPC has NEVER heard from Campbell or his attorney. So to hold any of his VICTIMS responsible is punitive and petty.
The truth is out and will stay out. We believe Campbell could better utilize his funds with intensive psychiatric counseling to find out why he needs to prey on vulnerable women and help him stop.
Anyone who wishes to contact this victim to offer advice or support can do so via our email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Sex addiction is progressive - the addict needs more and more and doesn't care who he hurts or uses. The internet has made it far too easy for johns/ hobbyists/ addicts... and their objectified view of other people carries into the real & online 'lives' affecting everyone they come in contact with, sooner or later. - Fighter)
by Mike Brunker
Demonstrating the adaptability that helped earn it the title of "world's oldest profession," prostitution is thriving on the Internet, slipping into comfortable new guises like sex-for-money chatrooms and Web sites showcasing fancy call girls and boys (escorts or providers).
But with the continued expansion of the online sex trade, and the appearance of numerous civilian vigilante groups determined to halt its spread, pressure is building to rein in the hustlers and hookers of cyberspace.
The use of the Internet to advertise prostitution has received far less attention from law enforcement, politicians and the media than its notorious cousin, online pornography.
Crusaders like Pete Hampton, a former lawman who established the Web Police to serve as an online clearing house for complaints of online criminal activity, say that when they attempt to bring prostitution cases to the attention of authorities, they are often met with indifference. (Dorsky had sites of scantily dressed women, lingerie bots and 'schoolgirl' type photos in his internet repetoire - as part of his SCRIPT)
"We find very few will even touch it," Hampton said.
A difficult issue
"It's hard to bring this issue to an investigative agency's attention," agreed Linda Fairstein, chief of the sex crimes prosecution unit of the Manhattan District Attorney's Office. "...Government resources, especially with local police agencies, don't begin to compare with what what Web-literate people can do in terms of crime, prostitution in many ways being the least of it."Federal authorities, however, insist that they have quietly been pursuing the most serious cases for some time.
Federal cases have almost exclusively focused on cases involving children, but local authorities are beginning to demonstrate a limited interest in virtual vice, such as on Craigslist.
Police in Florida, Nebraska and New Jersey have in recent months busted at least five online "escort" services that allegedly were providing sex for money. Only one involved minors: A case in Palm Beach County, Fla., in which 27-year-old Jay Ryan Quinn stands accused of prostituting underage runaway girls through his Web site.
Though there are no numbers to quantify the prevalence of prostitution operations on the Internet, as neither the federal government nor the states keep track of such cases.
But Hampton, of the (now defunct) Web Police, says he and his staff receive an average of 50 to 75 reports of prostitution each week out of a total of 1,500 complaints.
Echoing the complaints of police departments around the world, Hampton says he and his staff engage in triage to focus on the most important cases -- those involving children.
"We have to prioritize," he said. "... If this is simply a matter of a call girl service or an individual female advertising her services on the Internet, and she's of legal age of consent, this is not a priority case. If this is someone advertising child prostitution or selling children on the Internet, it does become a priority case."
Donna, a volunteer undercover decoy who lures chatroom pedophiles into the arms of police, says anyone who doubts how widespread the online sex trade has become should try posing as a 15-year-old girl in an adult chatroom like AOL's "Barely Legal" forum.
"I can count to 10, and by that time I'm already being hit on," said Donna, who asked that her last name not be used to diminish the threat of retaliation from those she has helped prosecute. "... Individuals are coming in and sending me private messages asking me, 'Do I like 40-year-old men?' ... and asking me about different sexual situations. I've had them mail me plane tickets. I've had them offer me their condo on the beach if I just come stay for the week. Anything, anything that a child will want.In the Quinn case, the tip that launched the investigation came from one of the alleged hookers. But more and more often, citizen vigilantes like Donna and agencies that focus on sexual abuse of children are playing a key role in bringing prostitution cases to the attention of authorities -- and in particular, those that involve minors.
"If you're a troubled teenager, it's an absolutely easy way to make quick money. ... You can almost have an auction. You can sit there and say, 'Well, this guy just offered me 50 bucks.' 'Well then, I'll offer you $100.' And she can barter herself and set the time and place. How easy is that?"
"We do see ... (situations where) children are actually enticed by individuals on the Internet to come meet them," he said. "Then they realize ... that the individual falsely represented themselves, they're stuck somewhere ... They have to find food and shelter and the only basic commodity they have to sell is themselves."Staff members at the center process the leads received on the tip line, then forward the information to the relevant law enforcement agency, Rodriguez said.
The question of law enforcement priorities is often central to debate over prosecution of prostitution, and the issue already has surfaced in connection with the case of "Nancy of Nebraska," an Omaha woman arrested in January for running an "escort service" in cyberspace.
According to testimony at the trial of Nancy P., 46, a vice squad officer posing as a visiting businessman arranged a date with her, had a limo to pick her up and drive her to the airport, where he emerged from a waiting Lear jet. Then, after serving her several glasses of Asti Spumante during the ride back to his hotel, he took her to his room and offered her cash in exchange for sex.
No sooner did Nancy agree, according to the testimony, than six police officers burst into the room with guns drawn and placed her under arrest.
Though it turned out the limo and jet were donated for use in the sting, a taxpayers group has accused the Omaha vice squad of going to excessive lengths to dismantle Prout's one-woman operation.
"The Nebraska Taxpayers Association does not condone what Nancy P. did or is doing with her Web site," said the organization's president, John Folsom. "Our position is that the police department ... were not good stewards with the taxpayers' dollars in spending the resources that were spent to have her arrested on a misdemeanor charge."Nancy P. was sentenced to only four months probation, an $800 fine and 48 hours of community service. (also most johns or hobbyists - are charged with solicitation, which is a class B misdemeanor and can be dealt with by paying a fine or lawyering your way out of it. And if you are the client of high-end hookers? The chances you will even have to go to 'john school' or do any community service? Nil. Therefore the demand-side goes on unscathed.)
Not surprisingly, such tactics also are viewed as excessive by prostitutes, who say the Internet gives them the ability to take control of their financial situation and eliminate the middle man.
"I was without a job, then worked briefly for $5 an hour while I was going to graduate school and working on my master's," Rachel, who set up her own Web site to advertise her escort service in the Midwest, told MSNBC. "I just wasn't making ends meet so I thought 'I'll try this.' "After initially placing an advertisement on a Web site that hosts numerous escort ads, she learned HTML and designed and built her own home page, which drew an average of 10 to 20 inquiries a day from potential customers.
"I learned a lot about working for myself, marketing, sales," said Rachel, who spoke on condition she not be identified by her real name.
But others say that few prostitutes are in a position to take advantage of the technology.
"There are so few ... women who are in control of what's happening to them," said Donna M. Hughes, director of women's studies at the University of Rhode Island. "And I think the idea that there are lots of high-class call girls out there that are total in control of their own lives is either a myth or only represents a very tiny minority of the women. The vast majority of women that we're talking about around the world are much closer to conditions of slavery."
Hughes, who has studied the Internet's role in furthering prostitution as education and research coordinator for The Coalition Against Trafficking in Women, a consulting agency to the United Nations, said that traffickers in sex have been quick to utilize the benefits of the Net.
She said that in addition to prostitutes and pimps, the sex tourism industry, which organizes trips centered around visits to brothels in countries like the Philippines and Thailand, and some so-called mail-order bride operations are using the Web and news groups to attract. In many cases, she said, their advertising is "encoded" in order to avoid scrutiny from authorities, but it's clear what product they are offering.
She said attempts to persuade U.S. authorities to prosecute two companies offering such tours have so far been unsuccessful.
One of the most degrading uses of the Net, Hughes said, are websites in which customers rate prostitutes' performance "as if they are completely a commodity." ("J"/GRIDNEY/ Yidwithlid did this, remember? Showing his blatant misogyny and using women like blow-up dolls. Then he'd be Mr. Religious - Family Man - Political Pundit and smear anyone who spoke up about him. Many times of the online predator is a sex addict - there is more than just an online affair going on!)
Hughes said that the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women has recommended that all forms of sexual exploitation -- including pornography -- be considered human rights violations and that action be taken to halt them, "just as we are now taking actions to try to stop the battering of women and sexual abuse or sexual assault of women."
"The view that we take is not to just see this as some sort of speech or expression, but to go what is happening to the women," she said. "No one talks about prostitution as being a form of free speech. It's an actual act that happens. And whether a man is paying a woman in a room or whether he's paying over the Internet, nonetheless he is buying some sort of an act. Therefore we don't see that as being in the realm of free speech."
A Constitutional conflict
But Shari Steele, an attorney with the Electronic Frontier Foundation, said such an approach would not pass muster in the United States.
"At least in the United States, there are numerous laws at both the federal and state level to deal with pornography," she said. "Obscenity is really the purview of the states to make a determination whether it is permitted or not. Indecency is federal protected under the U.S. Constitution. Child pornography is absolutely illegal. So any call for there being extra restrictions are really going to run afoul of the First Amendment here in the United States."The biggest obstacles to prosecution of international prostitution rings are the patchwork of laws and customs governing sale of sexual services and the Internet, said Hampton of the Web Police.
"Many law enforcement agencies don't even know how to address crime on the Internet, let alone prove whether a child is above or below the age of consent in the country where they live," he said.With concerted international action unlikely in the foreseeable future, prosecution of Internet-based prostitution rings and individual escorts, massage practitioners and other euphemistically named sex practitioners appears likely to increase in fits and starts as local police agencies become more aware of what is being sent out to the world from their own back yard.
"In almost every case ... when it's time for the meeting, they get nervous and they'll say, 'I hope to God you're not a cop, but I can’t not meet you.'(Sex compulsives don't care - Cyberpaths into sexual luring will tell women anything (click here for that) - and if they also spend money on hookers - they will convince their partners, families, jobs, police - it was all a lie or 'just a jealous, scorned woman and go RIGHT BACK and do it again.... just be a lot more sneaky about it!)
We will post more about this issue of sex & the internet -- fueled by phenomena like the 'online disinhibition effect' in coming months. This will be yet another window in the addictive and empathy-less minds of Cyberpaths. And we will continue to talk about some of our past predators and their insidious patterns of use, abuse, conning and running away - Fighter)
THE INTERNET ESCORT'S HANDBOOK
PROSTITUTION ON CRAIGSLIST
The Web Opens a Whole New World to the Sex-Addicted and Rationalizing It
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
We use portions of our interviews here to consolidate the nasty truth about Yidwithlid /Dunetz / GRIDNEY!
Please note, as we have said before we will not publish false statements or speculation. We check. Everything we have here has been legally verified and documentation has been submitted. Our comments are in purple - EOPC
Target #1: "I felt mortified, like a bad joke, stupid and ugly. I hadn't been able to listen to my gut in almost two years after all the brainwashing he'd put me through. I would ask Yidwithlid point blank questions and he CONTINUED to lie to me. Again, I fully admit what I did was wrong. Very wrong and I take full responsibility. I was in a very deep depression and I now know after all my counseling coerced and mind controlled by an expert predator - but it was still wrong. I pray for his wife and kids a lot.
I couldn't sleep, I was vomiting all the time, I was getting my kids to & from school but that was about it, my ex-husband thought I had lost my mind. I was at the doctor a lot or the E.R. and very very sedated. I couldn't drive and after a time I unplugged my computer & even destroyed some of the peripherals.
Yidwithlid THREATENED me and told me in an email I that he was going to help my ex-husband take my children away. All for simply telling the truth.... I was destroyed. Target #2 suggested I call his office, and Target #2 gave me the number. In the middle of the night and left him a voicemail calling him a predator. That was harassing & childish, I know. Now I realize he's probably sociopathic and this is what they do.
I wasn't angry, I was out of my mind with guilt and pain about where I had - in my depression and loneliness - allowed this man to take me. (Don't beat yourself up Target #1. He's a predator. Predators hunt the wounded. You were wounded - he knew it - and he took advantage of that and your prior relationship and moved in for the predator-hypnosis to get you to bypass your common sense. Your only mistake was really caring about & trusting him.)
TARGET #1s letter regarding his apology; which we previously posted; to Yidwithlid/GRIDNEY:
From: (deleted) @verizon.net
Date: 2004/03/27 Sat AM 11:55:21 EDT
Thank you for your apology Mr. Dunetz. But, it is time for your reality check.
YOU have been selfish? You think THAT’s the problem?
No, Jeff. You owe me for the hours I have spent with my therapists and the time I spent with Detective (deleted) at the 11Xth Precinct. You are now registered in the local & federal files. There is nowhere to run Jeff. Cut the personal pity party.
You took things I said to you out of deep love, and used them on Target #2 to create the “illusion of intimacy.” Because you aren’t human. You aren’t a real person so you ABSORBED MY PERSONALITY. You took my catch phrases and patterns and either mirrored them to me or to Target #2. Because you are too hollow and soul-less. Yes I am still 'married' on paper and yes, what I did was not right. But you kept reeling me in with guilt. You STOLE Me. No, you savaged ME.
A few weeks ago you said to me (as you had many times & I IGNORED it) “Target #1, I am sick… you don’t know me… I need help …. You don’t know how sick I am.” For once you were right. You took me to an internet porn site where you were role playing. It was disturbing but I ignored it, as abused women do. You have masturbated on camera to me (the camera YOUR WIFE GAVE YOU FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY), sent me pictures of your penis, sent me porn movies and images. None of them did I ask for. You assaulted me. No Jeff, let me call it what my therapist did – RAPE. R A P E. You RAPED me. I am being treated as a RAPE victim.
Your kids? You owe me for the therapy sessions my kids have had and will have about you. Do you remember the phone sex you had with me the night of the Aaron Carter concert? You just WAITING for (your wife) and the kids to be out of the house!!! I didn't talk but YOU SURE DID! And there were times you had cyber or voice sex with me when the KIDS WERE HOME IN THE HOUSE. And I know you did it WHILE YOU WERE AT WORK. You showed depraved indifference to your wife, me, TARGET #2 and worst of all YOUR OWN CHILDREN.
You are a monster. You are not even fit to be called human. Your wife is throwing up? I wish I was there to hold her hand. Me? Well I know you don't care but - I haven’t slept or eaten much in 2 weeks, I vomit to the point my esophagus spasms now without provocation, I have had 2 mild seizures and have tremors, my heart is racing so fast my doctors fear a stroke. I have been to the hospital 3 times. Oh yes, my doctors all know everything too – in case something happens to me. This is what you have done to your old “friend.” The "friend" you told Target #2 “never helped” you.
Your response is still all about you – with next to NO acknowledgment or owning of your behavior. Profoundly sorry? Is that supposed to cover it? Since your words are garbage I think not. I BEGGED you to be a real friend to me, to see me, to have an OPEN relationship with me. Let me meet your friends. You even had lunch with me BLOCKS AWAY from your office – so no one would SEE????? Your eyes darting around the room like I was too awful to be seen with. I begged you for normalcy. BEGGED.
When things came down with my estranged husband, you RAN from me to PROTECT YOUR OWN ASS. (My estranged husband) tried to contact you and you RAN!! You were sooooo worried about your wife finding out. I took beatings IN YOUR NAME, stuck by you out of friendship and once my estranged husband knew and keylogged me the abuse got even worse. Doctors & the police know this also. A real person would have stepped up to the plate and been there for me at least emotionally. We would have worked it out rather than perpetuating the extreme harm you caused me. But no – you were leading a double & triple life. If you call that life. All the times you said you had to go or were off to bed and were still online for hours later. Not just recently but for the last 2 years. What were you doing Yidwithlid? And with who else? Who else has fallen victim? (the police told her later - hookers, phone sex operators and online live porn girls)
Quitting the XXX board was selfish? You got online to tell me “you would be so proud of me – I quit the board today” O God, I told you - you 'needed less stress and to do the right thing.' What ELSE are you going to blame me for? What are you TELLING people about me? All lies too?
I keep reviewing college as well as the last two years to see what CLUES I missed, what I didn’t see, what happened. Where I made the sin of ENABLING you. You have over the last 2 years, driven me to the brink of suicide more than once. You think it was because of my problems with (my estranged husband) that I was so depressed? Think again, if you are capable of thinking of anyone other than yourself.
And how pathetic am I? Was there for you anytime you wanted to just talk. And you wouldn’t return it to me. You dangled it, told me you wanted me to 'feel better', you implied it – even when you were definitely married and HAD NO RIGHT TO. Yes, I am separate and I was dead wrong and 'let' you coerce me. But all to feed your Ego.
No Jeff, this isn’t about hurt and jealousy and sex addiction. I know your wife hates me as you have probably painted a ****ed up picture of me but she deserved to know. Any wife or mother would. And I am sorry beyond belief for hurting her.
The protection of myself and my children is first and foremost and I demand this from you to be able to accomplish this. TRUTH. No more embellishment. Share it with everyone. Your wife, me, Target #2 your clergyman, your therapist. Stop the pity party for poor little Jeff. Go look in the mirror and attempt some empathy for what you are doing and have done to me. The ultimate harm.
Target #1 continues - My precinct referred me to the main Computer Crimes Squad.
I took the IM threat Yidwithlid had sent me and the conversations between Yidwithlid and I that my ex-husband had hacked off our computer for months. I was saving stuff now because Yidwithlid completely raged at me and it scared me. Target #2 kept reminding me to save everything now.
The hate he'd truly had for me all those years had finally come out. I was "all bad" and he was going to punish me. I was terrified for my children.
I was starting to feel that maybe because he couldn't lie anymore he'd do more than smear me - he'd find a way to physically harm me.
I went to Computer Crimes and sat with 2 nice detectives. They punched his online nickname in. I remember one of them glancing at me and telling me to take a look. The screen was turned towards me as they entered a review board of some sort. My heart stopped and I stopped breathing for a minute. I had taken this person at his word because I knew him, and had for years! Was this him? There it was, online for all to see.The sickening truth was right there.....
(Fox News reported that during period of high male unemployment, hits to sites like PornHub.com tripled)
The detectives then went to a few other similar sites and he was on a couple of those too.
It was him, no doubt. Same nickname, same bad spelling and grammar and same sick sarcastic, objectified language.
I am no prude but it was a real slap to see the acronyms and misogynistic terms in which he described these women (who had their prices and what they would do for this money listed also - and it was VERY expensive!).
There were about 14 of these reviews found and it seemed to be a monthly or bi-monthly expense for him. No wonder he was "SOOOO frustrated" while he was unemployed. The girls' pictures were there too. I felt sorry for these pretty women who did this for a living.
And the terms Yidwithlid used, the acronyms, the things they did - the GFE (the police told me that was the "girlfriend experience" - where the whore treats the john like her "boyfriend" for 50 mins!!) It was pathetic!
Everything was a lie. EVERYTHING - anything he said to his family, his clergy, his office, to me, to Target #2 and even to himself - was a lie. All his moral lectures to me, his writing about politics & religion... his holier than thou attitude towards me at the end...
(Yidwithlid/ Yid with lid/ GRIDNEY has since attempted to remove and erase these reviews and say they never existed but archive.org and other archival net services have it all, including his credit card and IP addresses. Also, note in the ad for TER we have above the words "its nice to share" - Sammy Benoit / Yid with lid GRIDNEY used that 'SHARE' phrase in his early chats with Target #1! - Predators usually lie non-stop to the point that it becomes a way of life for them. Scary part is - due to their disorder they come to BELIEVE their lies so much that studies show they pass lie detector tests. So separating the calculated lie from the compulsive lie is almost impossible.)
"I felt faint and was taken by a woman from Victim's Witness to the bathroom to splash water on my face. I promptly threw up again. The police had a victim's advocate come talk to me who asked me for the name of the therapist I saw for the abuse I was getting from my ex-husband. She told me she'd call her because it might be a good idea for me to get medication or go away for a while. She told me I was white as a sheet.
Yes, I had had some cybersex with him - only him - and that was it. I wasn't hiring hookers or looking at porn. It was just him! And if I didn't know him I would never have done it. (She didn't know yet she'd been seduced & brainwashed & mind controlled!!)
Yidwithlid was into more. MUCH more.
The detectives called Target #2 for her address and said they would get everything to her for verification.
"The detectives they were busy printing things out and made me a disc of everything. They thanked me profusely and said they now had good information as part of another ongoing major investigation. But they wouldn't tell me what and frankly, I'd heard enough. They gave me their cards, asked me to sign some things about having my email traced in case Yidwithlid tried to write me again and to monitor my IMs. I asked them to consider not prosecuting him for soliciting hookers because of his wife & kids. I had done enough and I didn't want innocent people hurt.
Yidwithlid had told me he was "sick and needed help." Heck yes he WAS!! Yidwithlid even used the adventures he had with these sex actresses as scenarios for cybersex!!
The terminologies he used for intimacy, the body parts and other sexual acts was really twisted. Yidwithlid talked about these women like they were tissues to be used and tossed away. The same way he'd treated me! Yid with lid only had one bad prostitute experience - about the same time he had told me he was in the hospital for angina, after which he blabbed to me about his marital relations with his wife a couple days later. Another purposely cruel and heartless moment - as well as it NOT BEING MY BUSINESS. (no boundaries and inappropriate for this Target or anyone to hear. In our opinion, typical cyberpath emotional & mental cruelty. They get off on doing this to their victims and purposely hurting them.)
Here Yidwithlid was online BRAGGING about sex with whores, and how much they "liked" him. (they liked his Amex card, probably) It was just off-the-charts.
And he kept on using that SAME OLD 'gridney' NICKNAME. Yidwithlid just couldn't keep him mouth shut OR even think up a different identity to protect his own family. (Typical predator arrogance)
And as far as I was concerned, Yid with Lid found me disposable. He NEVER cared about me one single bit. I filled in time when he didn't have the money for the pros. He only wrote to me because we had sex a couple times in college and his online ADs for casual sex didn't pan out and he couldn't afford hookers at that time. He could have cared less about the abortion I even had for him. I wasn't really ever in his picture. I was just on his computer - when HE felt like it.
More from Target #1: "The men on these sites were incredible! Victims Advocacy called it 'paid gang rape.' You pay for a high-price hooker, do all sorts of nasty things with them... O.K. - but then you get on a board to TELL OTHER MEN WHAT YOU DID and RATE EACH GIRL'S PERFORMANCE. I wondered if he had been checked for ORAL STDS too. Or germs carried for months on the skin?
I also got very scared for his wife. Figuring he'd already dragged my name through the mud to her and blamed me for everything - I couldn't very well just call her up.
Yidwithlid had called my first letter to her "prose." He probably did a wonderful tap-dance of what a liar I was. His wife would never want to speak to me after my involvement as well. Yidwithlid would make very sure of that.
To the sex-addict/cyberpath - any person is good to go... a blow up doll with a pulse, or words on their computers. That's all. - EOPC)
"Target #2 sent the police a homemade porn video Yidwithlid had emailed her that she swore she never asked for! Target #2 told me she'd sent it to the FBI as well because it was so distrubing. (but they did nothing)
The detectives called me a few days later after did a little more searching and turned up phone sex hits, online porn webcam sex, sex-partner-wanted ads (in which he said he wanted "ANYONE FOR ANYTHING") with his ISPs, nickname, etc. all confirmed by the police forensics.
Law enforcement also found something about an e-site he was possibly connected to where men learn how to seduce women. It was called "The Secrets of Sexual Addiction." Yidwithlid had tried to mask his real name a couple times on these sites but he used his credit card. And many of these from years BEFORE he got in touch with me.
It was surreal. But I knew this person.... I thought! We'd had so many great chats about so many things, not just sex. I was NOTHING to him. NOTHING. I was a THING to be used and walked away from - just like the hookers!
This wasn't even about me & him and some cybersex chats . It was a much bigger and uglier problem and one I wasn't involved with. For me it was just chatting with him. I liked talking to him a lot more than the cybersex but it seemed he wouldn't talk to me without the latter. For Yidwithlid it was a full blown addiction. Yid with lid had reassured me many times it wasn't all about sex... but for him it was.
That fact I'd had real feelings for him all those years - just helped along his toying with me.
The things I had done ... the abuse I took from my ex-husband because of HIM.... the abuse of my kids because of my sticking up for Yid with lid .... the times I tried to end it and then got reeled back in. All the times I begged him to take his wife & he to marriage counseling and to work on his marriage. I felt sick. I meant absolutely nothing to him - not even as a friend.
Why had he done this me? Why?
"The police had sent everything to Target #2 - but she was FURIOUS. She thanked me for "saving her" from him. She said it made that silly "apology" of his even more of a lie. Yidwithlid must have thought he still had his sex-hobby in his pocket as a back up once he'd dumped me.
"As long as he could shut up myself and Target #2 and tell his version to "protect his wife" - he was ok. The more the truth came out and he couldn't tell a selective story - the more irate he got. That "apology" was yet another smokescreen as was his smear campaign against me. (and a classic online predator move!)
"Though I knew I was the last person she wanted to hear from I felt his wife deserved to know what he was bringing into her home and their bed. Along with my genuine & profuse apology. As far as I was concerned I was wrong and she could spit on me, slap me or talk to me or all three. I gave her my phone number and told her when she felt ready to call me. (so far she never has and I am not surprised, nor did I really expect her too) Yidwithlid even told me in his IM threat he told his wife I was a liar. (of course not! these cyberpaths all think their mere words can recreate reality. The wife probably swallowed the whole story and he probably blamed his targets or said they "set him up." - Fighter)
"Additionally, Yid with lid had been telling me, Target #2 and my friend that his wife was "sexually disappointing." Well, of course she was next to a paid-sex-actress!!. His wife was a mother & was working a job too and this jerk was spending his evenings online with women or porn or both; and his lunch hours at the high-end whorehouse using women like meat. That's what he REALLY thought of women. Everything with me had been a sick set up! He ruined my relationship and plunged me into PTSD over a set up!
I decided to send him an email with everything on it. I wish I could have been a FLY ON HIS COMPUTER SCREEN when he opened that email!! I told him the police already had it. Then I cried, unplugged my computer and didn't stop crying or vomitting for days.
"Weeks later I got a distrubing letter from Dunetz's county Police Department telling me to call them as I was needed for questioning.
"I called and a detective finally called me back. Seems Yidwithlid and his wife had taken out a cease & desist order on myself and Target #2 and supposedly I had violated it. I never never received any order and knew nothing about it so how could I have violated it?? (Police were unable to produce any PROOF OF SERVICE for such a cease & desist)
"Besides I had cut off all contact and Computer Crimes was getting a me temporary protective order on him.
Appeared that Yidwithlid had taken selective things into his police and told them I was not only lying and making things up but harassing and stalking Yidwithli. I was too sick to get out of bed 1/2 the time now from lack of sleep and trauma. How could I do that?
This detective must have been a friend of theirs because he was very nasty to me and kept mumbling. The detective wouldn't come to see me for questioning but wanted me to drive the full hour there - which was not possible, in part due to my disability and how sick this had made me. I found out later everything I sent them somehow "got lost." Now I think this friend of he & his wife harassed me "as a favor" to them.
Detective D'Axxx was shocked to learn I was disabled. I could only imagine how Yidwithlid had described me. He called my doctor and she confirmed I'd been very sick, in the hospital and I was too crippled to be driving to Yidwithlids home in the middle of the night; as he alleged I was doing! The Detective must have gotten quite a shock. (seems Yid and his wife convinced the Detective Target #1 was just a jealous obsessed woman - when she was ANYTHING BUT!)
I got in touch with the Sargeant in charge and sent him everything: Yidwithlid's hooker reviews, Yidwithlid's threat and the names of the NYPD detectives I had talked to. Target #2 called the Sargent too and told him it was her.
I had been too sick and in and out of hospital. I didn't want to go back. This traumatized me all over again.
A verified copy of the cover letter sent to the Det. (D'A(deleted)) along with all findings and data from the Computer Crimes detectives - Sent by Target #1 to stop the harassment & cyberstalking of her:
May 29, 2004
County of XXX Police Department
RE: Complaint # 04-261540
I am in receipt of the form letter regarding the above referenced file. I called your office on Friday, May 28, 2004 and left a message for you. The officer I spoke with informed me that there is a letter from an attorney’s office telling me to stop contacting Mr. & Mrs. Dunetz.
I never received any such letter and as a former paralegal, find it odd any attorney would actually send one without a proof-of-service. Nor have I contacted either party for over 2 months. I would like to see proof-of-service.
The last time I verbally spoke to Mr. Dunetzwas on March 17, 2004 when called me after I had learned that he, my dear friend of many years, had engaged in immoral and predatory behavior as well as abusing my good nature and causing considerable psychological harm to my family. Yes, I was very very wrong in participating but I did not return his sick behavior towards me in kind. I told him any information that was found about his activities would be passed along to his wife, which is what I did. I also urged him to get psychiatric help.
On Friday, March 19, 2004 Mr. Dunetz instant messaged me on MSN with the attached unedited threat. I panicked about his frame of mind and threats and on Saturday, March 20, 2004 I visited Detective XX at the XXX 11Xth Precinct to try to get a TRO. Mr. Dunetz was placed onto their database. (the attachments will give you a time frame and more information)
Sunday, March 21, 2004 Mr. Dunetz sent an email attempting to apologize for his behavior, both to Target #2and myself. He unfortunately misspelled my name in a rude manner (i.e. XXXX instead of XXX), which triggered me even more. That week I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and have been to a doctor and hospitals (name of hospitals) a number of times for chest pain, insomnia, tremors, bloody vomit, loss of appetite, esophagel burning and dehydration.
I am taking sedatives as needed under doctors orders to deal with what I have been told is severe trauma & emotional rape done toe me by Mr. Dunetz so there is no way I could drive to talk to you. I am simply not well enough. I have also been seeing a psychologist regularly since this information came to light in mid-March.
It so happened that the XX State Attorney General’s office is doing a sweep of brothels in Manhattan that advertise online. Mr. Dunetz regularly visited two of them as you can see in these hard copies of his "reviews" from TheEroticReview.com and UtopiaGuide.com.
XXXX Computer Crimes has told me that even if he tries to remove this evidence and cover up or deny it ever existed, that, should it come to court, the cache files from these sites would have his ISP and source codes and the website could be asked for his credit card information.
The two brothels, XXX’s and XXXXX’s, could be questioned also as part of this ongoing investigation by the XXX Department of Investigation.
Three of these hooker-review posts were made BEFORE Mr. Dunetz looked me up online at Classmates.com, one was just one month after! And this is the tip of the iceberg.
(We had a link to these posts on utopiaguide.com but NYPD finally confirmed for us recently that they were removed by activity positively identified as coming from gridney/ YidwithLid's IP - EOPC)
I understand Target #2 has sent you a copy of a video that Mr. Dunetz emailed her a couple months ago. Target #2 did not ASK for this video and it upset her greatly. While there is no face in the video, it was probably made in an area of the Dunetz home. A copy of it has been sent to the XXX and the FBI. I am also enclosing a copy of one of the suggestive emails Mr. Dunetz sent me last year. I have since blocked all his email from reaching me, closed down most of my email accounts, dismantled online chats and had myself removed from any online school reunion sites (which is where Mr. Dunetz initially found me in April 2002). However he does know my address and phone numbers and seems to stop at nothing, including using legal and law enforcement resources (and his wife’s trust) to manipulate a cover-up of his actions.
As someone on permanent disability and the primary caretaker for two children, this man’s remorseless actions are very threatening to me. (and this predator didn't end there!! Click Here for what he did as recently as 2008)
As far as contacting Target #2 – a review of Mr. Dunetz's cell phone records (a cell phone paid for by his employer apparently) would show numerous calls placed to her by Mr. Dunetz between January and March, 2004. He should be asked for that number. Target #2 would be more than happy to speak with you.
I do not appreciate this malicious retaliation, frivolous legal action and an obvious attempt to “turn the tables” and portray me as a “woman scorned” on Mr. Dunetz's part. This new development has harmed my physical health and I have been diagnosed with PTSD, yet again.
If this is passed on to them or their attorney I only hope that Mr. Dunetz gets help for this possibly mentally ill behavior and his wife gets all the legal and emotional support she needs to deal with the actions of this man. As well as passing on to his wife that I am deeply, deeply sorry.
I hope this information completes your file. Please contact XXX at the numbers provided for any further information as I have turned everything over to them weeks ago.
XXX Computer Crimes
(see attached copy of letter)
11Xth Precinct, XXX
XXXX, XX State Attorney General’s Office
Who referred the brothel information to:
Detective XXX, XX Computer Crimes
(investigating the brothels for XX State Attorney General)
XXX Department of Investigation
(investigating the brothels and online review sites where Mr. Dunetz was posting)
May 29, 2004
Target #1: I did openly admit my guilt and stupidity. For the sake of my family and Dunetz' I got past my embarrassment and made sure I had hard evidence to back up what I was saying. It was the only way that everyone finally left me alone. I'd already cut off contact. I guess Jeff had forgotten a few important details! (this is also a classic -- the SMEAR CAMPAIGN abusers run when they are caught and/ or held accountable. This smearing is a predictable as the sunrise. As with Hicks, Dorsky, Beckstead, Thomas, Jacoby... 'its the Target's fault, the predators are innocent victims, they 'did nothing wrong', 'its all a lie' or 'here's MY true version of the story' (selective truth of course) EOPC is posting Dunetz' rewrite of history below... )
"I have NEVER done online dating and NEVER hung out in chat rooms or social networking --ever.
Yid with lid was probably the only person from my life who could have gotten me to do what he did. He played on my long-standing fondness for him and worked me into an trauma-bonded mess so I was unable to stop myself. And I am sure his ego would have loved hearing that.
"I wasn't online looking for love, sex or anything. And I let my loneliness & vulnerability get the better of me. It was a long time before I went back online at all. A VERY long time. (It wasn't YOUR FAULT - he used seductive NLP & mind control on you!)
"I prayed I was just overly sensitive because of my years of being abused by a narcissistic parent, friends and subsequently almost every man I'd gotten involved with. Even now I find it difficult to fathom how you can give so much of yourself to a person, bare your soul and have them so totally wipe it all away as if it never happened with no remorse and go on their merry way leaving a path of destruction behind them. Realizing someone you have known for so long, spent so much time talking with, did it ALL just to USE you is horrifying. The grief is no ordinary grief. I still have love in my heart for him, that will never stop. The police and the D.A.'s office called a few times after for verification of information. I just added I wanted Yidwithlid to get help and his kids not be traumatized because of him.
I felt dirty and I apologized over & over to anyone that I'd hurt during this. I was wrong, I have never denied that. After distancing himself from me forever, I hear he now tells stories, all of which are factually twisted with the spin and leaving out certain facts to make HIM look the victim. It's nothing less than soul murder."
Narcissists almost make a career out of being victims. Ask any narcissist to tell you his story and you are bound to hear about the evil ex-wife, the ungrateful children, the idiotic and exploitative bosses, the crooked partner and every person who has been out to get them throughout their lives - which just about includes everyone they have ever encountered. Get involved with them and you will be the next addition to the list.
They go to great lengths to understand the human species and win favour with the bulk of it, so they actually know about things like love and caring and kindness. They simply have no clue what it means, which doesn't really matter anyway. All that counts to them is the results they can get if they know how to effectively use these things.
They know that, "I love you" turns on your wishful thinking, forgiving nature or your guilt and gets them back in the door. The know that "I'm sorry" gets them forgiven and gives them license to do it all again. They know that "I'll change" buys them time to work on you some more. They know that their numerous excuses take the focus off them and get them off the hook.
When we simply accept these things and even protect abusers from the consequences of their actions, we are not only giving them permission to continue, but to escalate to even greater levels of abusive power and control.
If an abuser is going to change, it will be because he is forced to. For as long as he can keep getting away with his behaviours and keep you coming back for more, there will be no incentive to change.
For as long as he can make you feel sorry for him, he has you where he wants you.
"I was informed Yid with lid has surfed for me and my nicknames online numerous times, he tries to cloak his ISP and location - but law enforcement knew it was him. Site owners where I post tell me too. He came to my personal blog for a while a couple months after I started to be physically better until I put up a page telling him to "stop or just talk to me." This not-so-secretive stalking of his was making it harder for me to move forward.
I've been told he tells people I am physically stalking him; which is physically impossible for me to do. I still reel from it all.... the big malicious horrible lie. From someone I knew! Why? Why?"
Acquaintance rape is using physical force, emotional bargaining, blackmail or mind games to force sexual intercourse, fondling, kissing, holding ... any sexual contact forced on you by a stranger or someone you know.
Dunetz' 2007 version of what happened, with his Target's comments:
http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/2007/03/story-of-gridney.html - THIS LINK NO LONGER WORKS
WHY WAS IT REMOVED? COVER UP? DENIAL? REMORSE? ADMISSION ?ONE CAN ONLY GUESS. (ODDLY ENOUGH -- SAME WAY THE ESCORT REVIEWS WERE 'REMOVED' - CLICK GONE! ) EXTRAPOLATING THE REASON IS IMPOSSIBLE SO JUST KNOW THAT IT'S GONE. BUT NOTHING EVER REALLY DISAPPEARS ON THE INTERNET.
Please, bear with me as I tell you a true (according to HIM) story. My Name is not Sammy I don't live in Tennessee. I used to write under my own name but a few years ago I had a falling out with a "friend" whom I knew from college. It’s the old story she was in an unhappy marriage and mine was going through a rough spot (this is a not an excuse, what we did was wrong (*forgets to mention that he looked me up in 2002, but NYPD TOLD ME HE was seeing prostitutes since 2000 and using phone sex operators & had an extensive internet porn library since at least 1999.). One thing lead to another and we began to have an inappropriate cyber relationship. IT WAS WRONG. I was Wrong and as a married woman she was just as wrong as me even though if you read her posts I am the only guilty one. (I have never not taken full blame and how DARE he moralize!! I never saw hookers or did online porn or lied to people telling them I "had feelings" for them and my "wife is cold & unfeeling" when I was just playing a sick sick game!! Also, I was separating/ separated at the time. His California target was not) Toward the end of our relationship, I stopped cybering with her and started cybering with someone else. What I didn't know was that the two were also online friends. So on the Ides of March three years ago, the two of them figured out what was going on.After the falling out the person went absolutely nuts "hell hath no fury" as they say. She found out where I lived, had child protection services visit my house (nope. I didn't send them) to interview my kids (the complaint was ruled unfounded of course) She had saved all off our cyber conversations printed them out and sent them to my wife (whom I had already told), My Rabbi, and even sent it to my boss. She even sent it to my 80-year-old parents…two days later my mom’s heart problems got worse and she landed in the hospital. What my mom ever did to her I will never know. (WHAT? what are you even talking about? I SAVED?? He knows my estranged-husband hacked it all and lawyers have it all now. His California target saved what she had and we sent things to his wife, because it was the right thing to doo... don't even know where his parents LIVE!)
She created and maintains a pornography site that she attached to attached my old site and now to this one. She vicious emails to sites that carried my writing such as AISH, Jewsweek and JWR. (More lies... complete fabrications with no evidence either target did any such thing)
Let me say this again. What I did was wrong! I also have learned what she did was wrong too although I suppose that she will never under stand that. I can take the harassing emails etc, but she goes after my family and friends. Once I came home from Shul on Shabbos and there was a scandalous letter in my mailbox and that of my neighbors. It was put there by one of her friends who live in my area. (what? hell no. And how did you come to this conclusion other than your imagination?) After that my wife, who is the real victim in this whole thing, was afraid to talk to our neighbors for a good couple of months. For over a year she would send emails and packages to my wife, telling her what a sap she is for staying with me, sending more porno etc. (what? emphatically no.) I love my wife very much and I will go to my grave being sorry for what I did to her. But my wife did nothing to this person, there was NO reason for her to spend two years tormenting my wife, NONE! (so why is Dunetz still smearing and attacking his targets? - EOPC)
Large amounts of money spent on lawyers and computer consultants writing letters to the web hosts of these porno sites, and even a police warrant basically left me with the fact that there was nothing much that I could do. I could sue (and if you read the lawyer’s comment from the article about Orthomom I put up yesterday, I could probably win. But the only good thing that could come out of that is that would do is take the down the sites. The bad things would be worse, making my wife go through it all again.) (then please take us to court! don't just lie about hiring lawyers & computer consultants you never did... let's go... so I can get all the VERIFIED EVIDENCE ENTERED INTO THE STATE RECORD - of what you really are!)
I changed my Internet name because, every time I would comment on a site, or a site would pick up one of my stories one of this person's minions would a comment defaming my name and telling people to go to that website http://www.pornspaces.com/gridney/, Some of what that site says about me IS true, most of it isn’t. Also it omits one very important point, what you learn in dance school, it took two to tango. So I changed my Internet name and location. I became Sammy Benoit, Yidwithlid, from Nashville. It was still me but I was trying to shield my wife from more torture. (still lying to her)
As for me, I have spent the last three years trying to ensure that I never again hurt my family and disappoint my friends. I have been in counseling alone and with my beloved wife. We have learned to talk to each other and have grown closer than ever before. She has forgiven but will never forget and I don’t blame her.
I have become more observant and spend more of my day in Torah study trying to learn the right way to live my life. I even got a laptop that sits on the kitchen table so my wife can open up and look anytime she wants. I have worked hard at trying to rebuild the trust of my family and friends; I know I can never fully regain it.
Why am I burdening you with this? Because about two weeks ago she tracked me down, my site meter began to that she along with her friends have linked their pseudo porno site to my blog, along with posting new crap on bulletin boards. They send me harassing emails through anomysers. But they are acting like terrorists. If they truly believed in what they were doing they would have no fear of Identifying themselves. I even got an anonymous email from one of her friends begging me to contact her. It won’t happen. I wont talk to her, or any of her friends. (gosh, what happened to the promises in that apology you sent? The promises to be in touch again are as phony as the apology.) First of all it would severely hurt my beloved wife, I will not do that again. Almost as important is that I have been able to grow, change and become a much better person, I do not need to talk to people that continue to find ways to hurt me and my family. I have moved on, and have tried to grow...they should too.
To be honest, I wanted to shut down again but my buddy XXXXX talked me out of it. Others advised me to do to her what she did to me, set up a porn site about her. I refuse that solution also, Loshen Hora is not right when she does it and it wouldn’t be right if I did it. I will not even out her by name in this post. (but he did post porn sites about us which are on file with the police & FBI - and... click here)
Our little blog community is very small; the little harassment game that she and her minions (minions? Dunetz playing martyr again) have been playing is building again. I am sure that you will begin to see more posts from her about me, posts springing up that say I am a horrible creep--I was, although not anywhere near as bad as they claim. I am sorry to have to bring this up to you, but as my readers I thought you should know. I promise that after this it will be back to regular content I am not going to run this time. (he removed it and attacked his targets then ran like the bully he is, repeatedly)
Over the last three years I have learned how powerful the love of family and friends is. I came very close to losing them. I will not destroy their trust ever again. (but destroying normal, innocent people is ok?)
The most powerful thing I learned was something that I had forgotten the fact that I married a wonderful woman with such a warm heart. Every morning when I go to minyan I thank G-d that I was allowed to realize what I had while I still had it. My change and development over the passed three years is due to her, and the love we have for each other. She was very hurt during the first few months, but she has taken on my quest to become a better person OUR quest. I couldn't have done it myself and through it sound like a corny line, she DOES complete me. If I spend the rest of my life running to do her every whim, I could not even approach being as good to her as she has been to me.
I used to be an actor; I once had a director that had an interesting tradition. Before the opening curtain he would go up to each one of us, fake spitting in our faces and give us a kick in the butt. His reason was, once we have been spit on and kicked in the butt there is nothing bad that can happen to you.
As many of you know, my wife was in the hospital for most of the month of January, it looks like she may need additional and much more serious surgery right after Passover. By writing this, spitting in my own face and kicking myself in the ass (something I have been doing for three years anyway) I pray that my drama teacher was right, nothing bad can happen to me or my family. (but your victims both spent time in the hospital and have been forever changed but you could care less because you're covering your a**, Dunetz)
Thank you all for listening. (and if you believe that there's a bridge in Brooklyn for sale)
More from Dunetz, removed from his site.
Below is the comment that they drafted and submitted to my site. It is interesting that my former friend wrote the anonymous comment as it was someone else talking about HER when ..it WAS her. Based on her desire to stick it to me I am sure you will see more of this on the net. (nope, not us - a friend probably but not either of us)
It’s good you are confessing half of your fault in this whole story. However things are not and they will never be, so black and white. There’s always a grey area. What I mean with this, is that you know you are blaming someone for a lot of things she didn't do and wasn't even aware of.
Truth is by that time, you weren’t respecting your wife. You used to frequent a brothel and writing public reviews about the hookers who turned you on. During the period you were corresponding with that woman, you confessed a lot of things about your wife you didn’t like. Strange way to express your love about her, the “beloved one”. You contacted her with the simple purpose of taking her for a ride, taking full advantage of a past story you had together. You contacted her and profiled her knowing her state of mind was not good and that she still had a lot of affection for you. Are you fairly sure she does KNOW this new identity because she still feels a lot of shame & guilt and would NEVER NEVER harrass your family or you.
See, on how things are not so black and white? As if it wasn’t enough, while corresponding with her, you “fell in love” with another woman in the other side of the country, with whom you were willing to have sex encounters, etc, etc, etc…
You can tell the story the way you want and paint the picture the way it fits you better. However, you know very well this not accurate. This is just some strategy you’re using.
I know you will delete this comment but if you are going to come clean - tell BOTH sides of the story - the whole story.
Yid With Lid said...
Ok XXXXX Enough! I got your two comments today and I am not posting YOU are just as guilty, YOU did not do this with your eyes closed, YOU were a married woman. The sooner you move on with your life, the sooner you will heal, physically, emotionally spiritually.
As far as I am are concerned, I publicly confessed my iniquity, I publicly showed contriteness by baring my soul. As far I am concerned you can continue dragging my name through the mud, while whitewashing your own responsibility. I am done playing your sick game. You used to tell me that I made too many decisions based on trying to please others. Well you are right, but when you started attacking me on this site I made a decision for me and for my family. Don't you realize that asking me to have a relationship with your family and me to have one with yours is beyond Sick?
I WILL NO LONGER BE BULLIED BY YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS. I am dropping it--no more posts or comments.
When you decide that the health of your XXX are worth more than your bruised ego, you will drop it too, until then regardless of how much abuse you and your friends choose to heap on me I will not react.
THERE WILL BE NO MORE POSTS ON THIS BLOG ON THIS MATTER. IF YOU FEEL LIKE COMMENTING SOME MORE, USE YOUR OWN BLOG
(Don't think hospitalization for trauma and PTSD qualifies as 'bruised ego')
Did you catch this readers:
Toward the end of our relationship, I stopped cybering with her and started cybering with someone elseHow cold, calculated, disgusting, heartless and misogynistic Dunetz is... classic cyberpath and predator.
INTERNET ESCORT'S HANDBOOK
Monday, June 25, 2007
1. a woman he'd never met in person but was calling 3-4 times a day telling her he LOVED her and,
2. a woman he'd known over 25 years who he was using as a online sex object (she had no idea) and whose family & life he destroyed.
Talk about playing people like objects! (do you think he was sincere?... or trying to cover his ***?)
originally posted - February, 2005
More from our phone and email interviews with Yidwithlid/ GRIDNEY's targets. Well worth reading. Is this how you felt too with your cyberpath, readers? (our comments in DARK BLUE/ original interviews in Fall 2004):
Target #1 -
I was horrified, sick and feeling very used and stupid. That feeling I had in the pit of my stomach all along had been right and I ignored it. Like the patsy I was trained to be by an abusive parent, I just ignored my own feelings. Yidwithlid had lied to me from day one. Someone he knew. Everything was a big fat lie. Even the "friendship." The horrible abuse I had been taking from my ex-husband because of yidwithlid now made me feel very pathetic.
I told Target #2 to go be with him because I truly wanted him to be happy. In my trauma and blind thinking all I could still think was to make him happy.
Obviously, what was going to make him happy wasn't ever me. I wasn't even real to him. No wonder he avoided seeing me for 2 years. I was an online fantasy - and he'd even lost that just a few months in when my ex-husband tried to confront him. I was, actually, nothing. Not even a real person.
I also felt truly HORRIBLE that I introduced Target #2 to Yidwithlid. She was pretty nasty to me about it because she was angry for a while after for introducing her to him and telling her what a great guy he was.
- When I saw that he answered MY friend (FoT1) that he 'hadn't talked about Target #2' to me; yet he had gone and smeared ME to Target #2....
- That he was making plans to go be with her, when he couldn't make time but once in 2 years to see me for a hello. And even then he seemed annoyed. I was never a real person to him and when I did assert myself he'd trained me to back down because he'd stop speaking to me for a while to 'punish' me...
- Couldn't remember my phone number in 2 years when he was calling her 2-4 times a day...
- Calling Target #2 'my sweetie' and 'babe' when he told me he HATED pet names... (remember that one readers?)
gridney / Yidwithlid told her he "loved" her - and never ever said that to me in all the years he knew me. Even as just a friend. In fact, on a 3 way call - I heard him vehemently say to Target #2 that he "never loved [me] never!" I was throwing up again as soon as I got off the phone. I couldn't stop.
Don't get me wrong - I know this sounds bizarre but I was not jealous. Not even a little bit. Jealous or "scorned woman" wasn't even close. I self-abused because he was just confirming for me what years of abuse had 'taught' me - I was garbage. It was beyond plain -- I didn't need a house to fall on me. I was nothing but a toy, something to fulfill his addiction when he was unemployed or bored. He didn't want me to be real. He didn't want to know me, be seen with me and he never had ANY intention of introducing me to his family - even BEFORE the cybersex began. He was laughing at me the entire time. I was a joke to him. A pathetic, convenient joke.
Prior to yidwithlid re-entering my life I had been through more than a lot of people my age. I was worn down and vulnerable. And now I was in hell because of him and my letting those old feelings surface. I felt pathetic. I couldn't figure out what I had done to make him treat me like that, not even being my friend! He knew exactly what he was doing and his ego must have been enormous knowing how he'd duped me. I wanted to cry or scream but when I opened my mouth - I could only vomit.
When I did finally pick up one of his calls, I spoke like it was one long primal-scream and I tried to maintain some control. Yidwithlid tried to get me to 'wait a month to tell' his wife....I had Fed Ex'd everything to her the day before. (good! - gridney/ Yidwithlid would have been spinning and smearing you to his wife & friends, and probably did anyway!)
She needed to know what he was doing, finally. It was the only way I could see that he'd get the help he needed and his wife could finally help him. She was his wife - and what I did to her was wrong. I knew she'd hate me and he'd make sure to paint a bad picture of me.
Yidwithlid tried to tell me that - "you know I have feelings for you." It would have been kinder if Yidwithlid had stabbed me or just called me an "ugly fat old pig." I wonder what those feelings are.... disgust, amusement, annoyance... I still have no idea. He only said that to try to buy my silence with more lies and guilt.
He left a message on my phone saying he wanted to see me & talk to me and that I "meant too much to him." I wish he'd meant it.
I was vomiting a lot. I had to go somewhere one evening about 4 days after it all, and I ended up having to pull off an expressway to vomit and then I felt very faint. I went to an E.R. that night and was released. I went back to the hospital a number of times in the 2 week after and by late March (2004) when the police were involved, I pulled the plug on my computer.
Target #2 was calling me. She was out for blood. I understood her rage. I did tell her that going to meet and have sex with a guy she'd never met and only knew online for 5 weeks was very risky. I stopped taking her calls for a while and the answering machine messages went on & on & on. She was very triggered, seems Yidwithlid had disconnected his cell phone and I was too sick to help anyone or even get out of bed.
My doctor sent me to a trauma counselor a number of times during the first few weeks after for thoughts of suicide. I was sedated and just walking around zoned out. Target #2 called me a lot after that. She still loved him and kept trying to get him to talk to her and explain. I told her he MUST love her and maybe she should just wait it out and he'd call her. Yidwithlid just dropped off the radar. No closure - like we didn't exist.
I kept calling Yidwithlid's cell phone for verification of what had happened. I asked him about something. Yidwithlid then told me, when I confronted him about something I KNEW had happened: "Never happened." I knew what gaslighting was and knew he was doing this for sure then.
I was angry beyond belief. Yidwithlid told me "if you love me you will leave me alone and let me start a new life." What about me? He'd promised me trips and said "our love would go on forever." He swore he didn't love his wife at all. He'd even sent me photos of himself with his kids cropped out! Leave him alone? (If he really did care about Target #2 at all he would never have said that or done what he did) He even had the temerity to say he'd told his rabbi he'd "fallen in love" with me. My money says he told his rabbi I was some obsessed stalker!
I got online and dug up everything I could on him - I was going to make sure his boss, his family and everyone he cared about knew what an animal he was! This man's religious and caring nature was nothing but a pose! His job, his publishers were going to know.
I was sexually abused as a child and wanted his poor kids away from him too! I called a P.I. friend in LA to help me. I was not going quietly. (Readers: we do NOT recommend this sort of over the top revenge! - EOPC)
About 10 days after all this Yidwithlid emailed what he thought passed for an apology to myself and Target #2. I couldn't believe he was being that impersonal. Of course this just triggered my trauma worse. He misspelled my last name in a suggestive manner. I was deeply triggered.
I meant nothing to him. Nothing. I wasn't even a person. Bad enough I was being abused in my own home, my kids were subjected to seeing it - because of my relationship with Dunetz/ Yidwithlid!
Bad enough I was disabled and could barely leave my house some days. Here it was - the proof that I really was nothing. I made a stupid decision based on lies and my fears were confirmed.
I was a just "thing" to be clicked off with computer mouse.
no editing to spelling or syntax has been done... only names and people left out. We also highlighted the number of times GRIDNEY/ Yidwithlid said I, ME or MY to make a point that he really had no empathy for what he had done to any of his Targets.
Like most online predators - GRIDNEY / Yidwithlid was only concern for himself! (and of course HIS family - whom he LIED to about Target #1 and #2 and his preying on vulnerable women online.)
Has yours done this? (we are reminded of the letter Ed Hicks sent to Wife #6!)
NOTICE how Yidwithlid puts Target #2 FIRST on his email list. Must have made Target #1 feel really good... like a bad chain letter. He could have a least sent 2 emails!
TO: Target # 2@###.com, Target #1@###.net
I am writing down every day. I see the pain I cased every second of very day. my wife crying (sometimes she throws up) every day and ail cause of me. My kids having no interpersonal relationships because I have been selfish ant too lazy to give them the attention thy deserve. I have a friend my [clergyman] who I made feel so uncomfortable by mixing him up in all this Even quitting the #### was selfish. . And I am also profoundly sorry for the pain that I have cased to you both. Every Day I pray to God to relive your pain and that of my family. and then I pray that he bring me closer to [Him] in mind and spirit. so I can change the kind of horrible person I have been.
Target #1 you are right about those 12 steps but they take time...the first one was discussing it all and that goes way beyond my time on line it goes to the way I relate to my family help my kids,. My [clergyman] says to do true teshuva, I have to change, and I am working on int,,,it is a lng drawn out process.,.
I got rid of aol adn yahoo and only have the original MSN I dont go ton here, I was advised to no longer put my self in oppottunities where I have to be strong at least untill I have shanged form the creep I was, .Someday with God’s help I may be a decent human being again.. Am truely sorry for the pain I caused and all I can say is that ai sm trying to make that person go away
Ihis is from the heart, wheater u believe or not.
GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID certainly had NO PROBLEM pushing his family aside for his online sexual gratifications by emotionally brainwashing 2 vulnerable Targets! Now its their fault his family is hurt?
Also notice how Dunetz/ YIDWITHLID implies that he has to 'be strong' online and around them, AGAIN making the Targets responsible for the fact that he's a Sex Addict on top of being a predator.
Did we count 24 "I"s and 8 "me/my"s? In a short missive - DUNETZ/ Yidwithlid references HIMSELF and his 'possessions' 32 times.
What he did to the Targets only twice? .... does this remind you of our First Predator of the Month, Ed Hicks? or Doug Beckstead? constant references to HIMSELF?
Here's what TV Counselor Dr. Phil has to say about APOLOGIES (GRIDNEY/ Yidwithlid's 'apology' doesn't even come close!):
"[APOLOGIES] are not some pious, phoney-baloney, half-hearted rendition of what you think they want to hear. Nor is it a watered-down, politically correct 'confession' that you think will buy you closure at the expense of truth... [admit] what you are doing to screw up your [and other people's] life.
This also means admitting that you are getting payoffs for what you're doing, however sick or subtle those payoffs are. - Dr. Phil McGraw"
DUNETZ/ YIDWITHLID sent it to BOTH Targets? One he'd been telling he LOVED and the other he knew for over 25 years? Like a chain letter? ...We won't use the word that comes to mind here, readers! COWARD is the term for this that's at least printable. He could have at LEAST seen Target #1 in person a couple times to talk to her FACE TO FACE about this! He owed her that much. But no......
(We are also reminded of Brad Dorsky's accusation that his Target was playing around online also - which she wasn't.)
As a typical Predator - Dunetz/ YIDWITHLID only saw the pain he caused - in his own home. He doesn't even acknowledge the pain he caused Target #1 for 2 years and the abuse her ex-husband was heaping on her because of him. Typical predator - he has ZERO responsibility in his mind to her - he caused her to be abused and made her so sick she had to go to the hospital a few times. Does he care? Sociopaths never care.
In their minds, predators feel their victims have no right to be angry with them - no matter how badly they were used.
DUNETZ/ YIDWITHLID didn't even apologize in 2003 when Target #1's estranged husband found out by hacking the computer. In fact Dunetz/ Yidwithlid's only comment was "I feel responsible" (he was responsible!), remember readers? And yet he did NOTHING to help her - not even emotional support! Not even a cup of coffee and a hug!
And then STILL he went on using Target #1 and twisting her mind & emotions KNOWING she was vulnerable!
Yidwithlid did NOTHING to support Target #1, who was in his 'thrall.' He just left her hanging, dealing with abuse, on her own for weeks. How dare her husband find out and interrupt HIS GOOD TIME! Dunetz/ YIDWITHLID seems ticked that his latest free **** buddy was compromised.
How much you want to bet he told people Target #1 was "just jealous"? LOL Typical Cyberpath excuse: 'scorned woman'!
And how much you want to bet, readers - Dunetz/ YIDWITHLID never really 'discussed it all' with his wife like he says? That those discussions were more of his spin and lies? And selective information?
Wouldn't you love to know what these Cyberpaths REALLY tell their spouses and friends? Trust us - its minimized, watered down and half-baked. They paint their Targets as the bad ones and justify doing it because they need to "protect their families/spouses from being harmed." Continuing to lie hurts them worse, doesn't it? But it gives the Cyberpath another way to garner sympathy for his/ her horrible problems.
Additionally, Dunetz/ YIDWITHLID talks about the 12-Step process of recovery 'taking time' and being a 'long, drawn out process.' Anyone who knows about 12-step programs knows they have one big principle: KISS = Keep It Simple, Stupid. These Targets, like many of you, were in a lot of psychic pain.
Dunetz/ YIDWITHLID completely missed the Step [and continues to purposely miss it even years later we learned] of making amends and telling the whole unvarnished truth to those he'd harmed. Now he is angry at the targets and using his anger to say they don't deserve amends for what THEY did - exposing him. Typical.
And why should he make amends after he painted HIMSELF as the victim here? The only thing it appears Yidwithlid was sorry about was getting caught!
Of course he portrayed his Targets as "too much of a temptation" (making THEM responsible for his out of control behavior) and that he was 'counseled' not to 'put himself in situations where [he] had to be strong' according to more of the chats we read... [some of which we can not publish here at the request of law enforcement].
Readers, this in an IMPORTANT expose and one you should read over & over again. It's so textbook and encompasses the narcissism & addictive nature of Cyberpaths and how it infects the victims are shown here better than any book or article could explain.
Like all cyberpaths, Dunetz/ YIDWITHLID is a coward and just ran away. No closure, no explanation, nothing!
His male buddies are probably high-fiving him.
DUNETZ/ Yidwithlid even says as much was he says in the 'apology' that he is 'trying to make that person go away.' He probably had every intention of starting up the same thing with someone else, if he hadn't already... and getting these women who now knew the truth as far away as possible so he could smear them, make himself the victim and move forward (more on that later) .
I wrote Yidwithlid back after the apology and I was screaming inside. Everything in my head was a scream. I wrote the word "RAPE" to him in my response but I don't remember anything else I said. That's how I felt. How I still feel. "Raped" Now that I've been counseled about Emotional Rape I understand why I felt that way.
I had already gone to the police after Yidwithlid had threatened my kids. Yidwithlid was in their database and they were going to keep it confidential ...and I couldn't believe this was happening. I never get into trouble. My father was in law enforcement. This was all so out of character for me. I was a boring, straight arrow... and this? I was mortified.
This apology upset me so much. I was so numb and sedated I didn't even feel it until days later. (PTSD - emotional numbing) I went to my doctor at my therapist's suggestion a couple days later and was admitted to the hospital for the damage the non-stop vomiting had done to my esophagus. As a disabled person and a single mom, I really didn't need more injury. I had my children to think about. I told the doctors everything and it's in their files. His name, the relationship, the police contacts, everything.
Yidwithlid never contacted me again. Why would he? He never wanted to even know me, except as a sex toy, in the first place. He hated me the whole time. He just wants me dead, probably. (He created a new nickname & identity and got back online pretty quickly after he felt things calmed down... probably doing it again... online porn and all)
I was told I was in the throes of a full blown Post Traumatic Stress attack. Target #2 was still trying to pull it all together and couldn't figure out if I was jealous & lying, which Yidwithlid had implied to her - or I was telling the truth. Yidwithlid had done a really good job of twisting her mind too.
But something more felt wrong. Very wrong. And I couldn't get it out of my head.... the little voice that said "there's more... more going on here." I just couldn't stop thinking it. Flashbacks were waking me up at night and I was feeling something strongly in my gut.
(MORE TO COME ON TARGET #1s 'FEELING' - we aren't quite done with DUNETZ/ YIDWITHLID yet!! Wait until you see what law enforcement found.
And, we will post our edits of excerpts from Target #1 and #2s thoughts to tell the rest - Fighter)
Don't forget to take a look at what was found by law enforcement in Dunetz/ YIDWITHLID's internet cache. - CLICK HERE...