Shame on him for targetting a vulnerable woman who deserved so much better than an Online Predator who got his jollies mind-f*cking foreign women! - Fighter
(again embedded 'commands' and psychological triggers are in red)
"You didn't tell me anything that you would tell me what do you feel... Not only about the things that I wrote about, but some your inner experiences or just something..."
I gave 1 reply to this. I don't know if my reply was what you had in mind. If not, please let me know, & I'll let you know after work when you're sound asleep. (so he can make up something else plausible to feed to you!)
Confession: you're the 1st "thing" I think about when I wake up & the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep [I have to say "thing" b/c if I say "person", that would imply that would imply that there are lots of other persons that come to mind right after, which is clearly NOT the case.]
My Dearest Target,
Where do I begin? Target, at the risk of losing you, I'm going to give it to you raw, unrehearsed, unedited, uncensored, & "let the chips fall where they may." Let me know if we've survived.
1st, let me tell you that I did NOT actively go to PPW in search of romance. (complete and total lie - you had a number of Targets there. Cyberpaths always protest their innocence. And if anyone catches them early on - a Predator will often turn on them like a petulant child, making them feel terrible & guilty for even questioning the Predator!) I was @ a point, as you may have been able to piece together, when there was nothing holding me back in my country.
Then, 1 day I had a few spare hrs, & I thought let me try this & see if I can get a TRUE local perspective NOT found in books, so that I can pick the ideal places to TESL. If by pure chance a romantic cnnxn was made along the way, then that would be merely icing on the cake. Even when I contacted you, I had no idea or intention of pursuing any romantic ideas. (sure you didn't!!)
But I'm 42yo & you're a Big Girl, married for X yrs & you have 2 lovely kids. I think we're too grown-up to use the "L-word" ["love"] when neither of us has met each other, much less "broken bread", or shared the trials & tribulations you & your husband have in bldg a life together, even if it's less than ideal. (then WHY do you continue to use the "L" word, Keith??)
But if I search my heart & honestly confront myself, I must confess, Target, that I could very easily, even instantly, fall in love w/ you. My feelings for you in this brief time are so strong. Even now, day-by-day, I'm falling for you, Target. (setting her up!!)
You said that you gave up the LoYL b/c 2 dreamers can't build a life. 1 has to be a rationalist/realist. I must warn you that I AM a DREAMER. (no you're psychotic and have no empathy) I've seen enough of life to know, that w/o dreams, you're only existing & not "living". You want to know the truth? I said "hypothetically speaking" only b/c I was afraid it would blow up in my face just like when I asked for a lock of your hair. But I was NOT speaking hypothetically. That IS what I feel, that IS what I desire, that IS what I day-dream about. The lock of your hair would've been a sentimental keepsake & I would hold & kiss the envelope now & then. Silly? Sentinemtal Romantic Fool? (lock of her hair! no you aren't a silly sentimental romantic fool.... you're a creepy wierdo looking for a trophy!!)
I feel this special bond, & the differences betw us combined w/ all that we have in common just draws me ever nearer to you & makes me long for you more and more. Would you believe me if I told you that already now, a HUGE!!! part of me [possibly almost all of me] feels that I want to be YOURS EXCLUSIVELY, just YOURS & nobody else's. Another part of me daydreams about waiting for your children to be fully grown 20 yrs from now & then seeing you in however limited fashion, even if only to gaze in your eyes once & hold your hands once. Already, I feel as if belong to you & that's exactly how I want it. I have no regrets about how you make me feel. I love how you make me feel & I don't know how you do it, but don't stop:-) (didn't he say he didn't want to use the L word, yet there it is!!)
There's more I wanted to say that was going through my mind, but now my mind is blank. But don't worry, I'll keep writing. If any of this makes you uncomfortable, let me know & I'll stop,(no you won't - she tried to stop you but you wouldn't let her) but try to find it in your heart to not end us. Thank you, Target. You still haven't told me how I should thank you for how you make me feel & being in my life.
With Hugs & Kisses,
My Beloved Target,
Please share w/ me what about the "participation" appealed to you? What in it was important to you or touched you the most? (is he talking about cybersex? eewwwww.....)
Re the "mixed-marriage" [BTW, I object to the use of that term, b/c a marriage is betw 2 people, & if they love each other & can get past the hurdles of lang & cultural diffs, then it shouldn't matter. It's also dishonest, b/c EVERY nation's ancestry is mixed w/ that of neighboring & even enemy nations.] What do you think? Is it better to "emphasize" 1 culture over the other? By that I do NOT mean COMPLETELY EXCLUDE, b/c that would be a lie, & the kids would pick up on that, too. If you do think that emphasizing 1 culture over another is the wiser course of action, do you believe it should be the mother's culture? Or, do you believe in your heart-of-heart that aiming/striving for a 50/50 balance is the best course of action? (Keith apparently has big psychological issues with his heritage - he brings it up a lot, says he thinks its bogus and dissects it, yet keeps jabbing at it...)
Finally, & MOST IMPORTANTLY, esp in light of what you told me about your country character/values, I think it would be tremendously important to engage in PDAs [Public Displays of Affection] (cute acronyms - ick) in the home in front of the children. Obviously nothing inappropriate, but constant tender kisses & warm embraces, kisses on your hands, "innocent"/"tasteful" [w/ in proper bounds] kisses on your arms, legs, back, neck, & yes, even feet. B/c children learn & about love & model it from their parents. If they see how much the parents love each other & are affectionate, then that's what they'll learn. Of course, the children would receive such PDAs from us. I hate to say it, Target, if your society is as uptight as my country was when I arrived 35yo, then it might mean a move to here [hypothetically] or Italy, b/c our kids would be made fun of & considered "weird" by other kids who wouldn't know how to respond w/ behavior so alien to their's. Even though our parents weren't big on PDAs, our parents were
considered too warm & too involved by "regular citizens white kids". (This Cyberpath has no boundaries or shame, does he? None of them ever do!)
Do you know how glad I am to have fallen in love w/ you, Target? So, this is how I find my "good girl":-) (read yesterday's post - at the bottom is a section on Narcissists on how they see women. Interesting he drops this in - in an email that starts with a possible reference to online sex. Predator.)
With Kisses All Over You & Hugs That Never Let Go,